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Above Average
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Above Average

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The Internet's Last Hope For Comedy. From the makers of SNL, The Tonight Show, and Portlandia. Visit aboveaverage.com

Invite-Only Playlist by Above Average
The Internet's Last Hope For Comedy. From the makers of SNL, The Tonight Show, and Portlandia. Visit aboveaverage.com
Above Average
Aug 27, 2015
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Spooky Sounds of the Republican Party
Above Average

Spooky Sound Effects For Republicans And Democrats

Voters beware, you’re in for a scare! As party lines draw tighter around the nation’s collective throat this election season, the truest frights are found not in a haunted orchard, but rather the stages and press rooms of Washington D.C.!

You’ll gasp as candidates you actually kind of liked a year ago pander to the lowest common denominators of their party’s base. You’ll recoil in horror as conservatives and liberals alike astroturf the issues, propping up “simple folks” as puppets for their own talking points. You’ll beg for mercy, but there’s literally more than a year of campaigning left to go!

With this in mind, here are two Spooky Sound Effect albums for whatever political party occupies your haunted house.

If reduced access to birth control, bullish foreign policy, or the words “President Trump” send a shiver down your spine, spin the Spooky Sounds of the Republican Party at your haunted house- but don’t say we didn’t warn you!

Perhaps it’s anchor babies, restrictive gun laws, and the prospect of another Clinton in the White House that give you goosebumps? Then scare yourself liberal with the Spooky Sounds of the Democratic Party!

We would have made one of these for Libertarians too, but they’re too scary even for us. That’s why they don’t let them speak on TV. Fly now, my pretties, and scare your friends with the most terrifying prospect: thoughtful political discourse! Eek!

See our full post on Above Average here.
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